Episode 11

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(phone rings)

Alistair:  Good morning, Ambridge Veterinary Practise,  Alistair speaking.

Peggy:  Oh Alistair, thank goodness it’s you.

Alistair:  Hello, Peggy, what’s the problem ?

Peggy:  It’s my pussy, Alistair, it’s been giving me terrible trouble all night.

Alistair:  I’m sorry to hear that, what’s the problem ?

Peggy:  Well it’s gone a funny colour, there’s a lot of scratching and there’s a bit of a smell.

Alistair:  Smell ?  What kind of a smell.

Peggy:  Definitely fish.

Alistair:  Is that what you’ve been feeding Hilda ?

Peggy:  Hilda, what’s it got to do with her ?

(Short pause, stifled giggles)

Peggy:  Alistair, are you still there ?

Alistair:  I think you’ve phoned the wrong surgery, Peggy.  I suggest you call the medical practise.

Peggy:  But you’re family, Alistair, I can’t discuss my pussy with a total stranger !

Alistair:  Well in that case I’ll send Jakob over.  You know him through Kate and you could no more embarrass him than a block of wood.

Peggy:  Perfect.  I’ll put the kettle on and look out some scones.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Ed.:  Not sure the 1970s humour will appeal ... )