Episode 17

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

Clip clop clip clop clip clop ...

(Editor:  Glad we found the sound effects cupboard at last.)

Lilian:  This is the life, Shula, dahling.  Out in the fresh air with half a ton of Arab horseflesh between our legs.

Shula:  Well if you put it like that, Lilian ...

Lilian:  I do, dahling, I do.  There’s nothing like it.

Shula:  Well we’re very lucky having Aziz and Amir to ride - fabulous horses and such good manners.  They never put a foot wrong.

(Amir:  I don’t know about you, Aziz, but I’m bloody starving.)

(Aziz:  Me too, bro.  That psycho vet, Jakob, should be struck off.  Telling Shula we’re fat and cutting our feed.  I could kill for a carrot.)

(Amir:  I know.  And just feel the weight of these fat arses we have to haul around.  Shula won’t see a size 14 again.)

(Aziz:  And if Lilian falls off she’ll need a crane to get back on.  Too much booze and too many fancy dinners at Grey Gables.)

(Amir:  Which gives me an idea, bro.  When we start cantering, let’s buck them off and head for home.  The walk back might shift some lard off them.)

(Aziz:  Wicked !  We’ll have the run of the feed shed til they get home.  And if that donkey is around we can give it a good kicking.   Thinks it owns the place just because it goes to church every year and craps in the aisle.)

Lilian:  Shall we step up a gear then, Shula ?

Shula:  Yes, let’s.  These boys need a good blowout if we’re to get some weight off them.  Canter on !

( Sounds of pounding hooves, shrieks and thuds)

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Editor:  Who signed Mr Ed and his brother ?)