Episode 29

🎼 Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

Clarrie:  Oo’s that comin’ to the door, Eddie ?  Oh no, it’s PC Burns !  Wot ‘ave you done now ?

Eddie:  Dunno, luv.  Ah’ll ‘ave to go and see.  Just put them bottles of cider under the sink, would you ?  Don’t want ‘Arrison to get a sniff of me best brew, it’s not strictly legal, like.

(Knock on door)

Eddie:  ‘Ello, ‘Arrison, wot can Oi do fer you ?  If it’s about that trouble with the ferret and the redhead Oi can explain.

Harrison:  I’m sure you can, Eddie, but perhaps you should speak to Clarrie first.  The lady in question has declined to press charges but she wants to keep the ferret.

Eddie:  Fair enough, e’s fond of the ladies.  So wot can Oi ‘elp you with ?

Harrison:  I want to have a look inside your freezer as I have reason to believe there’s a dead animal in there.

Eddie:  Don’t all freezers have dead animals in ‘em, unless you’re one of them veggies ?  But ‘ave you got a warrant ?  Ye can’t just come in ‘ere an’ ask to look inside an Englishman’s freezer !  Magna Carter an’ all that.

Harrison:  Okay, Eddie, point taken.  I will be back with a warrant but if this comes to court it could look bad for you.

Eddie:  Only jokin’, Arrison, of course you can look in the freezer.  It’s through ‘ere.

(sound of door opening)

Harrison:  Thanks, Eddie, it’s just that there’s a rumour in the village that you’ve got a horse’s head in there.  Totally ridiculous I know but I just have to check it out.

Eddie:  I’ll just open it up and you can see ...

(loud thud as PC Burns falls to the floor)

Clarrie:  Eddie !  Wot’s this about a redhead ?

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Ed.  Hasn’t he seen The Godfather ?)







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