Episode 33
🎼 Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
Jim: Now, Jazzer, we’ve agreed to sort out this ridiculous situation you have got yourself into with Lilian. We’re going into The Bull now and I will mediate on your behalf.
Jazzer: Meditate ? Whit wid be the point o’ that ?
Jim: I said mediate !
Jazzer:: Whit ? Ye mean ye’d hud the jaikets ?
Jim: If I understand the meaning of that colloquialism, you want me to hold your vestments while you fight it out in the Snug. No, no, no. I want to be a positive influence, not encourage violence.
Jazzer: Let’s hear it then, Prof.
Jim: I will act as your spokesman and set out the case to re-establish your right once again to enjoy the aforementioned site of public refreshment known as The Bull - Ambridge’s greatest asset...
Jazzer: Ah thought Sabrina hud both of Ambridge’s greatest assets.
Jim: ... and that you apologise sui generis for any disobligement caused to Lilian. Thereafter as a quid pro quo your behaviour will improve exponentially.
Jazzer: Ah’ve nae idea whit ye’re speakin’ aboot but Ah’m willin’ tae gi’ it a go. Lay on MacDuff !
(Sound of pub door opening)
Lilian: Good evening, Jim and goodbye, Jazzer.
Jim: If there is any compassion in your heart, Lilian, please allow Jazzer back into the pub. He is driving me mad moping about the house and if I have to watch one more rerun of Scotland’s World Cup failures I will book myself into The Laurels.
Jazzer: Ca’ that mediation - it’s total surrender !
Jolene: (under her breath) Let ‘im back in, Lilian, we need the cash.
Lilian: Okay, Jazzer, you’re forgiven but I need a favour from you first. I’ve been stuck in here all day and Ruby needs her walk round the Green. Do that and then you can have your pint.
Jazzer: Whit ? Be seen in public wi’ that daft wee dug ? Better sober than a Jessie !
(Pub door slams)
Jim: Pour me a large one, Jolene.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Can we say Jessie ?)
Jim: Now, Jazzer, we’ve agreed to sort out this ridiculous situation you have got yourself into with Lilian. We’re going into The Bull now and I will mediate on your behalf.
Jazzer: Meditate ? Whit wid be the point o’ that ?
Jim: I said mediate !
Jazzer:: Whit ? Ye mean ye’d hud the jaikets ?
Jim: If I understand the meaning of that colloquialism, you want me to hold your vestments while you fight it out in the Snug. No, no, no. I want to be a positive influence, not encourage violence.
Jazzer: Let’s hear it then, Prof.
Jim: I will act as your spokesman and set out the case to re-establish your right once again to enjoy the aforementioned site of public refreshment known as The Bull - Ambridge’s greatest asset...
Jazzer: Ah thought Sabrina hud both of Ambridge’s greatest assets.
Jim: ... and that you apologise sui generis for any disobligement caused to Lilian. Thereafter as a quid pro quo your behaviour will improve exponentially.
Jazzer: Ah’ve nae idea whit ye’re speakin’ aboot but Ah’m willin’ tae gi’ it a go. Lay on MacDuff !
(Sound of pub door opening)
Lilian: Good evening, Jim and goodbye, Jazzer.
Jim: If there is any compassion in your heart, Lilian, please allow Jazzer back into the pub. He is driving me mad moping about the house and if I have to watch one more rerun of Scotland’s World Cup failures I will book myself into The Laurels.
Jazzer: Ca’ that mediation - it’s total surrender !
Jolene: (under her breath) Let ‘im back in, Lilian, we need the cash.
Lilian: Okay, Jazzer, you’re forgiven but I need a favour from you first. I’ve been stuck in here all day and Ruby needs her walk round the Green. Do that and then you can have your pint.
Jazzer: Whit ? Be seen in public wi’ that daft wee dug ? Better sober than a Jessie !
(Pub door slams)
Jim: Pour me a large one, Jolene.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Can we say Jessie ?)
Looks awfy like a dug
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