Episode 36
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Shop bell rings)
Susan: Get in ‘ere, Tracyee, you’ll never guess wot Jennifer and Brian Aldridge are up to now !
Tracy: Oi bet Oi can, knowin’ that randy old goat. And Jennifer, has she posted another recipe for game pie on the village website ? That’s how exciting she gets. Yawn, yawn, so far, so so boring.
Susan: Shurrup, Tracy. Our Christopher says it’s a real turn up for the books. Brian is in the clear on this one cos Jennifer went on one of those dating sites and has struck lucky. Someone with a big ‘ouse round ‘ere and a villa in Italy !
Tracy: How come she’s hooked someone decent ? It’s just not fair. Them that ‘ave, always get more ! What about me ?
Susan: Well Oi was thinking you could go on the same website and see what ‘appens. Do exactly wot she did - lie about your age, say you like travel when you ‘aven’t been out of Borsetshire for 10 years and say you ‘ave a sense of humour. As if Jennifer Aldridge ‘as a sense of humour, snotty old cow.
Tracy: Yeah, that sounds good . I can say I’m an artist ...
Susan: You do like a drink ...
Tracy: Oi’m very interested in current affairs ...
Susan: You’ve always been the gossip of the family ...
(Ed. How stupid is this woman?)
Tracy: I love kids ...
Susan: Don’t say you ‘ave two. That Chelsea would put anyone off .
Tracy: Yeah, Oi reckon that might work. Wot next ?
Susan: Oi’ll get our Christopher to find out the site she was on. You put your details in, then you swipe left or right or summat like that - Oi didn’t know you ‘ad to ‘ave sat nav...
Tracy: Give it a rest, Susan, don’t you know anything about the modern world ? Oi tell you wot, we’ll see wot ‘appens to me an’ if things work out you can ‘ave a go.
Susan: Me ? Why would I get involved in stuff like that ?
Tracy: To be honest, sis, if you don’t know then it really is time you moved on. You’ve been shacked up with that boring old pig man for years !
Susan: Now that’s not fair. Neil’s a good, steady man with a heart of gold and a senior managerial position.
Tracy: Yeah, but nothing in the bank and Justin Elliot on ‘is back.
(Shop bell rings)
Susan: Wot are you doing ‘ere, Neil ? Forgot your lunch ?
Neil: Bugger lunch, Susan ! I’ve just ‘anded in my notice at Berrow. I cannot work with that Hannah woman, any longer ! I’d rather stack shelves in Tesco, if we ‘ad one. Or raise my own pigs in the back garden.
Susan: (under her breath) Oi’ll get that web address off Christopher and we’ll take it from there,
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Perhaps I’ll give it a go, too.)
(Shop bell rings)
Susan: Get in ‘ere, Tracyee, you’ll never guess wot Jennifer and Brian Aldridge are up to now !
Tracy: Oi bet Oi can, knowin’ that randy old goat. And Jennifer, has she posted another recipe for game pie on the village website ? That’s how exciting she gets. Yawn, yawn, so far, so so boring.
Susan: Shurrup, Tracy. Our Christopher says it’s a real turn up for the books. Brian is in the clear on this one cos Jennifer went on one of those dating sites and has struck lucky. Someone with a big ‘ouse round ‘ere and a villa in Italy !
Tracy: How come she’s hooked someone decent ? It’s just not fair. Them that ‘ave, always get more ! What about me ?
Susan: Well Oi was thinking you could go on the same website and see what ‘appens. Do exactly wot she did - lie about your age, say you like travel when you ‘aven’t been out of Borsetshire for 10 years and say you ‘ave a sense of humour. As if Jennifer Aldridge ‘as a sense of humour, snotty old cow.
Tracy: Yeah, that sounds good . I can say I’m an artist ...
Susan: You do like a drink ...
Tracy: Oi’m very interested in current affairs ...
Susan: You’ve always been the gossip of the family ...
(Ed. How stupid is this woman?)
Tracy: I love kids ...
Susan: Don’t say you ‘ave two. That Chelsea would put anyone off .
Tracy: Yeah, Oi reckon that might work. Wot next ?
Susan: Oi’ll get our Christopher to find out the site she was on. You put your details in, then you swipe left or right or summat like that - Oi didn’t know you ‘ad to ‘ave sat nav...
Tracy: Give it a rest, Susan, don’t you know anything about the modern world ? Oi tell you wot, we’ll see wot ‘appens to me an’ if things work out you can ‘ave a go.
Susan: Me ? Why would I get involved in stuff like that ?
Tracy: To be honest, sis, if you don’t know then it really is time you moved on. You’ve been shacked up with that boring old pig man for years !
Susan: Now that’s not fair. Neil’s a good, steady man with a heart of gold and a senior managerial position.
Tracy: Yeah, but nothing in the bank and Justin Elliot on ‘is back.
(Shop bell rings)
Susan: Wot are you doing ‘ere, Neil ? Forgot your lunch ?
Neil: Bugger lunch, Susan ! I’ve just ‘anded in my notice at Berrow. I cannot work with that Hannah woman, any longer ! I’d rather stack shelves in Tesco, if we ‘ad one. Or raise my own pigs in the back garden.
Susan: (under her breath) Oi’ll get that web address off Christopher and we’ll take it from there,
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Perhaps I’ll give it a go, too.)
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