Episode 40

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(sound of shop bell and cock crowing)

Tracy:  Susan, ‘ave you ‘ad a word with your Christopher about this dating site
malarkey ?

Susan:  Ooh, Tracy, I’m so glad you’ve come in the shop.  I’ve been desperate to talk to you about this.

Tracy:  Wot’s so desperate about a poxy dating site ?

Susan:  It’s the type of dating site Jennifer’s been on.  I mean we’re almost related and I ‘ad no idea she was like that !

Tracy:  Like wot ?  Wot are you goin’ on about ?

(sound of shop bell and cows mooing)

Susan:  I can hardly say it, Trace.  I am so shocked.  Our Christopher couldn't bring ‘imself to tell me so I looked it up for myself.  I hope Neil doesn’t look at my browsing history.

Tracy:  Get on with it, you do witter on.

Susan:  I think she’s been on the one with the motto “Life is short, have an affair.”  And she goes to church on Sunday wearing a hat !

Tracy:  Well that might suit you but I ain’t married.  Anyway, I’ve ‘ad a look meself and I’m goin’ on ‘Inge.

Susan:  I thought Hinge and Brackett gave up years ago.  Wot do they have to do with dating ?

Tracy:  No, you idiot, Hinge !  It’s a dating app on your phone and it’s easier to ‘ook up wi folk than Tinder and Grindr an all them other sites.

(sound of shop bell and sheep bleating)

Susan:  I’ve ‘eard of Tinder but wot’s Grindr ?

Tracy:  I dunno - maybe it’s where you meet up with a Grundy ?  Eddie’s always trying to make a bit of extra money on the side.

Susan:  Do you think Clarrie knows ?  I’d better ask her but not before I’ve told everyone in the shop.

(sound of shop bell and tractors driving by)

Susan:  Ooh, I didn’t notice I had such a queue.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Ed.  Who says we don’t do farming ?)