Episode 45

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

Ed:  Hey, Jazzer, it’s great to see you back in The Bull - how’d you manage to sweet talk Lilian this time ?

Jazzer:  Ah didnae.  Jolene says profits ur doon so Ah’m back.

Ed:  But what are you gonna do if Lilian appears ?

Jazzer:  The Prof thinks ma main problem is folk like Lilian dinnae ken whit Ah’m sayin so he’s been teachin me some phrases tae help wi that.

Ed:  Yeah, like what ?

Jazzer:  Weel afore Lilian tells me tae get oot , Ah’ll mibbe say, how kind of you to let me come.

Ed:  Steady on Jazzer, I know you like the old girl but she might think you’re being a bit previous.

Jazzer:  Or Ah’ll say, roond and roond the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran.  An Ah’ll tell her that monkeys make monopoly monotonous.

Ed:  How’s a board game gonna get you back into her good books ?

Jazzer:  Ah’m just tryin tae get a conversation goin here.  Hiv ye seen that red lorry, yellow lorry ?

Ed:  I am totally confused, Jazzer, Lilian wouldn’t be seen dead in a lorry.  Do you want a drink ?

Jazzer:  Whit if Ah talk aboot the weather ?  The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain.

Ed:  Not sure how that’s going to help.

Jazzer :  Whit does she like ?  Whit aboot a proper copper coffee pot ?

Ed:  For God’s sake, Jazzer, you know she prefers a large gin !  Do you want a pint or                      not ?

Jazzer:  Weel thur wur six Scottish sodgers shot in their shuuders.

Ed:  She does like a man in uniform.

Jazzer:  The Leith police dismisseth us.

Ed:  I think you’ve cracked it, she can’t possibly throw you out now.

(Pub door opens)

Lilian:  You’re not the only one who’s been taking elocution lessons, Jazzer.  Choose yur windae, yur goan oot !

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ....

(Ed.  Back to the drawing board.)






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