Episode 42
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
Jim: Jazzer, I have come up with a plan to get you out of this house and on with your life.
Jazzer: Aw naw, yur no gonnae chuck me oot ?
Jim: No of course not. I love having you around. Who else could I patronise all day ? I have come to the conclusion that your main problem is that very few people understand a word you say.
Jazzer: Dae ye think so ? Ah suppose Ah’ve seen folk lookin glaikit when Ah open ma mooth.
Jim: I think I just proved my point. I feel I could be Professor Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle.
Jazzer: Whit ! Ah’m nuthin like a lassie. Just ask the ladies frae ma auld milk roond.
Jim: Only metaphorically my dear boy. You must remember the film My Fair Lady ? I have so much in common with Rex Harrison.
Jazzer: Ah dinnae think so. He’s deid fur wan thing an naebuddy has ever thocht Ah wis like Audrey Hepburn.
Jim: You are just being contrary. Professor Higgins taught Eliza to speak properly and as a result changed her life.
Jazzer: Och hud yur wheesht ! Why wid Ah need tae change the way Ah speak ?
Jim: I think once again, dear boy, you prove my excellent point. How about trying, ‘ In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly happen’.
Jazzer: Hawa wi yur haverin - is that enough aitches ? How is that gonnae get me a pint in The Bull ? Efter a’, Ah’m no a performin dug.
Jim: It’s a dog.
Jazzer: Well it’s awfy like a dug.
Jim: Let’s start again shall we ...
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Let’s not. We’ve had enough complaints about racial stereotyping from north of the border.)
Jim: Jazzer, I have come up with a plan to get you out of this house and on with your life.
Jazzer: Aw naw, yur no gonnae chuck me oot ?
Jim: No of course not. I love having you around. Who else could I patronise all day ? I have come to the conclusion that your main problem is that very few people understand a word you say.
Jazzer: Dae ye think so ? Ah suppose Ah’ve seen folk lookin glaikit when Ah open ma mooth.
Jim: I think I just proved my point. I feel I could be Professor Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle.
Jazzer: Whit ! Ah’m nuthin like a lassie. Just ask the ladies frae ma auld milk roond.
Jim: Only metaphorically my dear boy. You must remember the film My Fair Lady ? I have so much in common with Rex Harrison.
Jazzer: Ah dinnae think so. He’s deid fur wan thing an naebuddy has ever thocht Ah wis like Audrey Hepburn.
Jim: You are just being contrary. Professor Higgins taught Eliza to speak properly and as a result changed her life.
Jazzer: Och hud yur wheesht ! Why wid Ah need tae change the way Ah speak ?
Jim: I think once again, dear boy, you prove my excellent point. How about trying, ‘ In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly happen’.
Jazzer: Hawa wi yur haverin - is that enough aitches ? How is that gonnae get me a pint in The Bull ? Efter a’, Ah’m no a performin dug.
Jim: It’s a dog.
Jazzer: Well it’s awfy like a dug.
Jim: Let’s start again shall we ...
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...
(Ed. Let’s not. We’ve had enough complaints about racial stereotyping from north of the border.)
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