Episode 44

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Clip clop clip clop clip clop)

Amir:  Well here we are at the gates to Berrow Farm,  Think you can open them, Benny ?

Benjamin:  No problem, gov, they’re a doddle.  You’d think they’d take better care of their pigs.   They’ll be worth a few bob, this lot.

Aziz:  Do we really need to go in there, bro?  Pigs give me the heebie jeebies.

Amir:  Just chill, Az, we can outrun any porkers and give them a kick if we have to.  But they’ll welcome us with open arms, just like Adam’s deer.  They couldn’t wait to get up Lakey Hill and into the woods.

(rattle of bolts)

Benjamin:  That’s it, guys, we’re in and can get the pig sheds open.

Aziz:  Here come Pinky and Perky, the welcoming committee.  They don’t look too pleased to see us though.

Amir:  Good news, pigs, we’ve come from AARS to free you from your human oppressors.

Pig:  Oink, oink, oink, oink, OINK !

Amir:  Oh shit, we’re out of here, boys, and quick !

(Clip clop clip clop clip clop)

Aziz:  What’s happening, bro, what did he say ?

Amir:  He said his name is Napoleon and the other one is called Snowball.

Benjamin:  And we ran away for that ?

Amir:  You’ve obviously never read George Orwell.

Benjamin:  I’m more of a John le Carre man myself.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum ...

(Editor puts her head in her hands)