Episode 61

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Ruth:  You’re goin to have to speak to your mother, David.  I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep for a week. Thank God we’ve got an automatic milkin parlour and the cows can look after themselves cos I’m like a zombie in there at 5am.

David:  Talk to her about what ?

Ruth:  You know what I mean, the bloody noise she and Leonard make bangin away every night.  It’s so embarrassin, God knows what the children think.

David:  I know what you mean, love, but I don’t fancy asking Mum to cut down on the sexual gymnastics.

Ruth:  Well, I’ve had enough of it and if you won’t speak to her, I will.  And I won’t be as tactful as you.

(kitchen door opens)

Jill:  Hello, you two.  What a wonderful afternoon it is.  Leonard and I are going to have our coffee out in the orchard and enjoy the sunshine.  I’ll just put the kettle on and get the cake tin out.

David:  I need to have a word with you about something, Mum, and I hope you won’t be offended.

Jill:  Never mind that, this tin is empty !  What happened to my lemon drizzle ?

Ruth:  Oh, Shula was in earlier, askin if there was any baking she could take to the stables.  I gave her what was left of the cake.

David:  So, Mum, about the noise you and Leonard are making at bedtime ...

Jill: Don’t worry, David, it’ll be as quiet as the grave tonight.  Now I must go and phone Shula.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Let’s hope Shula isn’t on silent.)




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