Episode 63

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Brian:  Well, this is rather nice, isn’t it, just the two of us ?  It will give us a chance to get to know each other better.  These dating profiles are all very well but they don’t tell you about the real person.

Tracy:  In moy experience it’s sometimes better not to know the real person but that’s just me.

Brian:  I didn’t have you down as a cynic, Tracy, but I suppose we are what we are through our life experiences.

Tracy:  An Oi didn’t ‘ave you down as one of them philosopher types.  Oi was just lookin for a bit of a laarf.

Brian:  Oh, me too.  But tell me, do you like to cook, do you have a speciality dish ?

Tracy:  Me egg an chips go down a storm wi our Chelsea but then she eats owt.

Brian:  So no venison casseroles ?

Tracy:  Wot do you take me for ?  Oi ain’t ever goner eat Bambi !

Brian:  Erm, well, okay.  What about music - any favourite pieces ?

Tracy:  You can’t beat a bit of  Iron Maiden to get the juices flowin and Oi loik Rick Astley when things get a bit quieter, if you know wot Oi mean...

Brian:  Well if you say so.  I must admit I’m not really familiar with either of them.  But I do like watching television.  What’s your favourite programme ?

Tracy:  It ‘as to be Mrs Brown’s Boys, no question.  ‘As me in stitches that does !

(loud thud as Brian falls off his chair)

Tracy:  Men are such lightweights !  Oi’m off  ‘ome to try Grindr.

🎼.  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed. A marriage made in heaven, not)