Episode 70
🎼 Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
Jakob: I am a little worried about you, Alastair, you look very pale.
Alastair: I’m fine but tell me again what happened at the stables. I think I may have misheard you.
Jakob: But I have told you three times already.
Alastair: I know but it really doesn’t make any sense. I am beginning to wonder if you are okay.
Jakob: There is nothing wrong with me, maybe a little shocked by my experience. It is not something I expected to happen in the course of my duties.
Alastair: Let me get this straight. Shula insisted that you have a cup of tea and offered you some cake when you went to check on the horses.
Jakob: Yes, I find that every woman with the name of Archer is obsessed with making tea and offering cake. The same thing happens when I go to check on Peggy’s pussy. Is it something in their genes ?
Alastair: And then she sat on your knee and offered sexual services.
Jakob: Alastair, you are beginning to sound like a vicar when it is your ex-wife who is training to be one. She was - as Kate might say - all over me like a rash.
Alastair: Err, well, I am sure Kate is right. Shula used to be - as Kate might say - a bit of a goer a few years ago but I thought she had lost interest in that sort of thing.
Jakob: I do not want to hear the details of your marriage. You just needed to know in case it happens to you.
Alistair: What kind of cake was it ?
Jakob: I do not know about these things but it had something to do with your terrible English weather.
Alistair: That sounds like lemon drizzle - my favourite. I might pop round to see if there is any left.
Jakob: No, I had the last piece which had a most unlikely effect on me. I felt an uncontrollable urge to ...
Alistair: Hang on, you’re not telling me you accepted Shula’s offer ?
Jakob: I had to, she’s a big woman and had me pinned against a hay bale.
(loud thud as Alistair hits the floor)
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. That’s enough thuds. Front Row are complaining about the noise.)
Jakob: I am a little worried about you, Alastair, you look very pale.
Alastair: I’m fine but tell me again what happened at the stables. I think I may have misheard you.
Jakob: But I have told you three times already.
Alastair: I know but it really doesn’t make any sense. I am beginning to wonder if you are okay.
Jakob: There is nothing wrong with me, maybe a little shocked by my experience. It is not something I expected to happen in the course of my duties.
Alastair: Let me get this straight. Shula insisted that you have a cup of tea and offered you some cake when you went to check on the horses.
Jakob: Yes, I find that every woman with the name of Archer is obsessed with making tea and offering cake. The same thing happens when I go to check on Peggy’s pussy. Is it something in their genes ?
Alastair: And then she sat on your knee and offered sexual services.
Jakob: Alastair, you are beginning to sound like a vicar when it is your ex-wife who is training to be one. She was - as Kate might say - all over me like a rash.
Alastair: Err, well, I am sure Kate is right. Shula used to be - as Kate might say - a bit of a goer a few years ago but I thought she had lost interest in that sort of thing.
Jakob: I do not want to hear the details of your marriage. You just needed to know in case it happens to you.
Alistair: What kind of cake was it ?
Jakob: I do not know about these things but it had something to do with your terrible English weather.
Alistair: That sounds like lemon drizzle - my favourite. I might pop round to see if there is any left.
Jakob: No, I had the last piece which had a most unlikely effect on me. I felt an uncontrollable urge to ...
Alistair: Hang on, you’re not telling me you accepted Shula’s offer ?
Jakob: I had to, she’s a big woman and had me pinned against a hay bale.
(loud thud as Alistair hits the floor)
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. That’s enough thuds. Front Row are complaining about the noise.)
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