Episode 100

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Fallon:  Mum, ‘ave you got a minute ?

Jolene:  Wot’s up, sweetheart ?  You’re lookin worried.

Fallon:  It’s Clarrie, she’s come over all funny.

Jolene:  Wot do ye mean ?  ‘As she started keepin ferrets, too ?

Fallon:  No, that’s definitely still Eddie’s department.  Emma’s bin tellin me about Clarrie’s plan for the food at the village ‘all centenary do.  Emma thinks she’s trying to impress some new folk over by Penny ‘Assett.

Jolene:  Oo are they then ?  ‘Ave they bin in the pub ?

Fallon:  Oi dunno.  Emma says they’re called Bolshie or summat like that.  But it’s the food Clarrie’s doin for the party - really odd stuff.

Jolene:  Wot kind of stuff ?

Fallon:  Beetroot soup - you should see the colour, dumplins full of cabbage and beef stroganoff.

Jolene:  Beef wotsit it is just posh stew.  Wot’s appened to ‘er sausage surprise ?

Fallon:  No idea.  Where is all this comin from ?  Emma’s worried cos Clarrie keeps goin on about celebratin the rise of the workin man.

Jolene:  That’ll be about Eddie gettin outa bed in the mornin.  Mebbe she’s goin down wi somethin.

Fallon:  Could be.  She says she needs to get rid of the trots.

Jolene:  Ooh, they can be nasty.  So ‘as Emma tried to change Clarrie’s mind about the menu ?

Jolene:  Yeah, of course.  But she came over all dictatorial like, sayin we ‘ad to ‘onour the workers and their glorious revolution.

Jolene:  The toffs in Ambridge won’t like that one little bit.  Since we’re doin the bar, we need somethin to bring everyone to the party.

Fallon:  If we served caviar on them blini things we’d get folk like the Aldridges and Lilian and Justin comin and we’d be quids in.

Jolene:  Genius !  Oi’ll make sure there’s plenty of chilled vodka and they’ll never notice wot’s goin on.

Fallon:  The re-enactment of the stormin of the Winter Palace by Primary 7 might be ‘ard to ignore.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Whoever wrote this must be on the vodka.)