Episode 72

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Jazzer:  Hey, Prof, ye’ll never guess whit yon Susan Carter telt me in the shop the noo.

Jim:  I don’t suppose I will, that woman is a constant surprise to me.

Jazzer:  Weel, she wis oan aboot they shenanigans wi Jennifer Aldridge and thon woman.  Ah wisnae really listenin but it seems like some Chippendales hae moved intae Hame Ferm.

Jim: What, they have moved more furniture into Home Farm ?  There must be plenty of stuff up there already.   Sounds like pretty low-grade gossip for Susan Carter to be peddling.  She usually prefers something juicier.

Jazzer:  Naw, dinnae be sae stupit.  Ye ken whit Chippendales are - strippers !

Jim:  Strippers ?  I don’t think they should be doing that to such valuable pieces.  I am surprised at Jennifer, she’s always seemed to be a sensible woman.  Having said that, she has put up with Brian Aldridge all these years.

Jazzer:  Aw, come oan, Prof, get wi the programme.  Everybody kens that Chipperfields are strippers - they gie wimmin thrills at hen pairties.

Jim:  They entertain hens ?  That can’t be very onerous.  Hens are famously equipped with very small brains.

Jazzer:  Ah’m gettin seriously worried aboot ye noo.  They tak their claes aff  tae gie folk a laugh !  Ah was thinkin Ah might go up there an see if they need an extra pair.  Hands, Ah mean.  Ah’ve hud enuff o’ bein a pigman.

Jim:  Oh, I see what you mean.  Michaelangelo’s David was the highlight of a visit I made to Florence a few years ago but I am not sure you come anywhere near that standard.

Jazzer:  Whit are ye sayin ?  Have ye hud a wee jaunt wi an Italian gigolo ?  Does Alistair ken ?

Jim: Don’t be ridiculous !  It’s a statue depicting the classical male nude.  It’s considered to be the best in the world.

Jazzer:  Weel, just haud on.  Wait til they see me up on yon stage...

Jim:  Alastair, pour me a large one !

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Did Jim just channel his inner Lilian there ?)




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