Episode 73

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(door bursts open)

Eddie:  Clarrie, Clarrie, where are you !

Clarrie:  Wots’s all the fuss ?  Did the revolution start without me ?

Eddie:  Forget all that Marxist rubbish, Clarrie.  No-one’s ever gonna read the Mornin Star til they print a page 3 girl and publish the winnin lottery numbers in advance.

Clarrie:  So wot’s got you so excited then?

Eddie:  Oi’ve just been up to Linda and Robert’s to start work on the llamas’ plunge pool and as soon as Oi got into the garden at Ambridge Hall Oi smelt em !

Clarrie:  You smelt the Snells ?  Wot’s wrong wi them ?

Eddie: No, no, not the Snells - ferrets !

Clarrie:  You’re not tellin me that those bankrupt capitalist scum ‘ave appropriated the working man’s companion of choice ?

Eddie:  If you mean ‘ave they’ve nicked me ferrets, yes they ‘ave.

Clarrie:   Ow do you know they’re your ferrets ?   Don’t they all smell the same -  disgustin ?

Eddie:  Oh no, luv.  Once you’ve ‘ad ferrets in your kegs for a fortnight you know their smell like your own.

Clarrie:  Unfortunately, Oi know what you mean.  But did you see them ?

Eddie:  No, Oi think Linda’s got em locked up in the shepherds ‘ut me and Dad knocked up for ‘er.  Little does she know Oi ‘ave a spare key for the padlock.

Clarrie:  Oh, Eddie, wot are you goin to do ?

Eddie:  Oi’m goin back up there tonight to claim my rightful property and perhaps get a hold of them llamas and stick em in the barn for a night or two.  Let’s see how Linda Snell likes it when her pets go missin.

Clarrie:  Leave them llamas alone.  Oi’ve ‘eard they can turn nasty if you take em unawares and start spittin.

Eddie: Oi’ve seen more spit on a night out with Fat Paul than Oi’ve seen from them llamas.  They know me so it’ll be no problem.

🎼  Dum ti dum to dum ti dum...

(Ed.  I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Eddie.)


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