Episode 75

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Ed:  Okay, Dad, tell me again why we’re standin outside Ambridge Hall in the middle of the night with a sack and two ropes ?  

Eddie:  Oi’ve already explained all this.  Oi ‘ave reason to believe that me ferrets wot disappeared from our barn are now in Linda Snell’s shepherd’s ‘ut.

Ed:  And have you asked ‘er if it’s true ?

Eddie:  No Oi ‘aven’t cos Oi don’t want an argument in the middle of building the llamas’ plunge pool in case Oi lose the job.

Ed:  Fair enough.  But if the sack is for the ferrets what are the ropes for ?

Eddie:  Well if me ferrets are in there we’re gonna take the llamas for a little walk.  See how Linda likes losin ‘er pets.

Ed:  No way Oi’m messin with a llama.  They’re big buggers and defend their territory.

Eddie:  Okay, forget the llamas but let’s get me ferrets. Oi’ve got the key for the ‘ut.

(Constanza:  We appears to have intruders, Salieri.  I believe that one of them is that common little man who is working on our pool.)

(Salieri:  Leave this to me, darling.  I believe they intend to steal the revolting little animals in the hut.)

(Constanza:  How impertinent !  They may be revolting little animals but I’ve become strangely fond of them.)

(Salieri:  Indeed.  And no-one steals anything from Ambridge Hall on our watch.  This won’t take long, I’ll be back in a moment.)

Eddie:  ‘Old that torch still, Ed, while Oi get the key in the lock.  And can you stop breathing down me neck, you’re puttin me off.  Ooh, and now you’re dribblin.

Ed:  Its not me, Dad, it’s the big llama ! Run !

(sound of running feet and crashing though bushes)

Eddie:  Quick, get in the van !

(sound of doors slamming)

Ed:  Now that was a bloody disaster.   What have you got to say for yourself  ?

Eddie:  Well Oi got that wrong. There’s a lot more spit in a llama than Fat Paul.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Actually, my money’s on Fat Paul.)