Episode 77
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
Jazzer: Whit’s wrang wi ye, Alastair ? Ye’ve a face as lang as Leith Walk.
Alastair: It’s the world, Jazzer. It’s gone mad and there’s nothing I can do.
Jazzer: Whit d’ye mean ? It’s always been run by a bunch o bampots so whit’s changed ?
Alastair: I am talking about everyone in Ambridge. Jakob is obsessed by Peggy’s pussy, Shula has turned into a man-eater - too late for me unfortunately- Pat has returned to her ultra- feminist roots, Jill is dealing in lemon drizzle cake and even you seem to have gone off the rails and applied to join the Chippendales.
Jazzer: Aye, weel, that is naw goin tae plan.
Alistair: Why not ? Dad said you were giving up being a pig man.
Jazzer: Weel it’s aw that Susan Carter’s fault. She’s some wumman fur gettin stuff wrang.
Alistair: How come ?
Jazzer: She heard aboot four fit guys up at Hame Ferm and pit twa an twa thegither an goat five. Turned oot they were bailiffs evicting Jennifer Aldridge an her bidey-in.
Alistair: Oh dear.
Jazzer: And Peggy wis gonnae book them fur the next WI meetin - 30 tickets ! That would be worth takin aff yer kit.
Alistair: Well I’m sorry you have missed out on that. What are you going to do now ?
Jazzer: Ah’ve hud an idea.
Alistair : It always worries me when you have ideas. What’s this one ?
Jazzer: Hoo aboot you, me and Jakob mak up oor ain stripper team - The Beasts of Ambridge ? The auld biddies in the WI widnae ken the difference an we could clean up !
Alastair: Now you’re being ridiculous and in any case Jakob would never sign up for it.
Jazzer: That’s where yer wrang. Jakob says he’s in as long as there’s tea and cake afterwards.
Alastair: What kind of cake ?
Jazzer: Has tae be lemon drizzle.
Alistair: Count me in !
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. You cannot be serious...)
Jazzer: Whit’s wrang wi ye, Alastair ? Ye’ve a face as lang as Leith Walk.
Alastair: It’s the world, Jazzer. It’s gone mad and there’s nothing I can do.
Jazzer: Whit d’ye mean ? It’s always been run by a bunch o bampots so whit’s changed ?
Alastair: I am talking about everyone in Ambridge. Jakob is obsessed by Peggy’s pussy, Shula has turned into a man-eater - too late for me unfortunately- Pat has returned to her ultra- feminist roots, Jill is dealing in lemon drizzle cake and even you seem to have gone off the rails and applied to join the Chippendales.
Jazzer: Aye, weel, that is naw goin tae plan.
Alistair: Why not ? Dad said you were giving up being a pig man.
Jazzer: Weel it’s aw that Susan Carter’s fault. She’s some wumman fur gettin stuff wrang.
Alistair: How come ?
Jazzer: She heard aboot four fit guys up at Hame Ferm and pit twa an twa thegither an goat five. Turned oot they were bailiffs evicting Jennifer Aldridge an her bidey-in.
Alistair: Oh dear.
Jazzer: And Peggy wis gonnae book them fur the next WI meetin - 30 tickets ! That would be worth takin aff yer kit.
Alistair: Well I’m sorry you have missed out on that. What are you going to do now ?
Jazzer: Ah’ve hud an idea.
Alistair : It always worries me when you have ideas. What’s this one ?
Jazzer: Hoo aboot you, me and Jakob mak up oor ain stripper team - The Beasts of Ambridge ? The auld biddies in the WI widnae ken the difference an we could clean up !
Alastair: Now you’re being ridiculous and in any case Jakob would never sign up for it.
Jazzer: That’s where yer wrang. Jakob says he’s in as long as there’s tea and cake afterwards.
Alastair: What kind of cake ?
Jazzer: Has tae be lemon drizzle.
Alistair: Count me in !
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. You cannot be serious...)
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