Episode 78
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(shop bell rings)
Susan: Ello, Mrs Woolley, lovely to see you in the shop. You’re looking very well.
Peggy: I am very well, thank you.
Susan: You look so relaxed. How do you manage that with everything that’s going on with your family ?
Peggy: Well, ever since Jakob took such an interest in my pussy everything seems a lot rosier. And at my age I need something to cheer me up.
Susan: Maybe Oi should think of getting a pussy if that’s what it takes. And come to think of it, Jill Archer is looking pretty good these days, too, although Leonard looks a bit tired. There must be something in the water round here.
Peggy: Oh I think Jill would put it down to the power of cake, dear.
Susan: Blimey, I must get the recipe from her. Anyway, how are the plans for the next WI meeting coming along ? I asked our Tracy to come but she said she wouldn’t been seen dead at the WI. She thinks all we talk about is jam.
Peggy: Jam is definitely not on the agenda of this meeting. I have something really exciting lined up.
Susan: Ooh, tell me more, I won’t tell a soul.
Peggy: Tell who you like, dear. I tried to book The Chippendales - you know those nice boys up at Home Farm - but they can’t make it. So another group called The Beasts of Ambridge have offered to step in.
(loud thud as Susan falls to the floor)
Peggy: Oh for Heaven’s sake, Susan, pull yourself together ! Do you want to hear this or not ?
Susan: (faintly). Yes of course, Mrs Woolley. It certainly sounds more like Tracy’s sort of thing. Does Lilian know about it ? She’d definitely buy a few tickets.
Peggy: I have sold more than 30 already and I don’t think the church hall will be big enough. I am just on my way to speak to Jolene about the upstairs room at The Bull. My only worry is that some of the old dears won’t make it up the stairs.
Susan: I would be more worried about them getting downstairs again. They could be in shock.
Peggy: You have to remember, dear, that many of us were brought up during the war. It takes a bit more than a couple of tadgers to frighten our horses.
Susan: Who are these Beasts of Ambridge ? Do Oi know them ? Oi hope my Christopher isn’t involved.
Peggy: Now that would be telling. You will have to guess who they are. They end up wearing animal masks only so it shouldn’t be too difficult.
Susan: Mrs Woolley, what do you take me for ? Oi’ve been happily married to Neil for nearly 30 years !
Peggy: Well, the answer is obvious - bring Tracy. I’m sure she won’t have any trouble working it out !
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. I bet Jazzer wears his kilt.)
(shop bell rings)
Susan: Ello, Mrs Woolley, lovely to see you in the shop. You’re looking very well.
Peggy: I am very well, thank you.
Susan: You look so relaxed. How do you manage that with everything that’s going on with your family ?
Peggy: Well, ever since Jakob took such an interest in my pussy everything seems a lot rosier. And at my age I need something to cheer me up.
Susan: Maybe Oi should think of getting a pussy if that’s what it takes. And come to think of it, Jill Archer is looking pretty good these days, too, although Leonard looks a bit tired. There must be something in the water round here.
Peggy: Oh I think Jill would put it down to the power of cake, dear.
Susan: Blimey, I must get the recipe from her. Anyway, how are the plans for the next WI meeting coming along ? I asked our Tracy to come but she said she wouldn’t been seen dead at the WI. She thinks all we talk about is jam.
Peggy: Jam is definitely not on the agenda of this meeting. I have something really exciting lined up.
Susan: Ooh, tell me more, I won’t tell a soul.
Peggy: Tell who you like, dear. I tried to book The Chippendales - you know those nice boys up at Home Farm - but they can’t make it. So another group called The Beasts of Ambridge have offered to step in.
(loud thud as Susan falls to the floor)
Peggy: Oh for Heaven’s sake, Susan, pull yourself together ! Do you want to hear this or not ?
Susan: (faintly). Yes of course, Mrs Woolley. It certainly sounds more like Tracy’s sort of thing. Does Lilian know about it ? She’d definitely buy a few tickets.
Peggy: I have sold more than 30 already and I don’t think the church hall will be big enough. I am just on my way to speak to Jolene about the upstairs room at The Bull. My only worry is that some of the old dears won’t make it up the stairs.
Susan: I would be more worried about them getting downstairs again. They could be in shock.
Peggy: You have to remember, dear, that many of us were brought up during the war. It takes a bit more than a couple of tadgers to frighten our horses.
Susan: Who are these Beasts of Ambridge ? Do Oi know them ? Oi hope my Christopher isn’t involved.
Peggy: Now that would be telling. You will have to guess who they are. They end up wearing animal masks only so it shouldn’t be too difficult.
Susan: Mrs Woolley, what do you take me for ? Oi’ve been happily married to Neil for nearly 30 years !
Peggy: Well, the answer is obvious - bring Tracy. I’m sure she won’t have any trouble working it out !
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. I bet Jazzer wears his kilt.)
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