Episode 79

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Linda:  Good Morning, Eddie.  I thought I’d come and check progress on the llamas’ pool.  I’m very keen for them to have some fun in the water on a hot summer’s day.

Eddie:  Well Oi’m no expert on llamas, Linda, but their coat looks a bit ‘eavy for swimmin.  You’re sure they won’t get waterlogged and drown ?

Linda:  Now don’t be ridiculous, Eddie.  I have done some research on this and once their winter coat is sheared off, they can happily swim.

(Constanza:  Where on earth did she get that idea?  She’s going to be very disappointed when we refuse to gambol in her vulgar pool.)

(Salieri:  Indeed.  We’re not the sort of camelids who go on a beach holiday.  Ancient historic sites and gourmet dining are more our sort of thing.)

Eddie:  While you’re ‘ere, Linda, Oi wondered if everythin was all right wi your shepherd’s ‘ut ?  Needin any maintenance ?  Still wind an watertight ?

Linda:  Well now you mention it, Eddie, I did notice rather a strong smell the last time I was in there. I was pulling out some garden chairs and there was a most unpleasant odour.

Eddie:  Oh dear, you might ‘ave some vermin in there.  Do you want me to check it out ?

Linda:   Could you, Eddie ?  I would ask Robert but he’s busy with a new recipe for lemon drizzle cake.  He seems very excited about it for some reason and wants me to go in and try it.

Eddie:  No problem, Linda.  Oi’ll do it right away.

(sound of door being unlocked)

Eddie:  Now my beauties, where are you ?

(Sixtus:  Damn it - it’s Eddie !  How did he find us ? )

(Anselm:  I dunno but remember what we agreed ?)

(Sixtus:  Yeah.  As soon as he puts us in his trousers, you bite the one on the left and I bite the one on the right.)

(Anselm:  Okay and then we meet up behind the house.)

Eddie:  So you are in here you naughty boys.  Come to Daddy ...

(some time later at Grange Farm)

Clarrie:  Where’ve you bin, Eddie, and why are you walkin so funny ?   You’d better not ‘ave any ferrets in there.

Eddie:  Don’t worry, Clarrie, me ferret days is well and truly over.  And so is everythin else below the waist.

Clarrie:  Well that’s a shame cos I managed to get hold of some of Jill Archer’s lemon drizzle.

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  I’ve got my legs crossed here.)




Comments

Popular Posts