Episode 83
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
Jolene: Oh there you are, Lilian. Oi’ve bin tryin to get ‘old of you. Did you not get my messages ?
Lilian: Sorry, darling, yes I did but I’ve had terrible trouble with one of my housing developments - a ferret infestation it seems - and I thought you could easily deal with a WI booking without me.
Jolene: Well, normally you’d be right but this ain’t the kind of meeting the WI usually ‘ave.
Lilian: Oh no, not another nude calendar with strategically- placed beer mats.
Jolene: Well, they might need beer mats but we’ll ‘ave to get bigger uns.
Lilian: Really ? What kind of chest size do these women have ?
Jolene: It’s not women and it’s not a calendar.
Lilian: Thank God for that but what is it then ?
Jolene: The WI have sold over 100 tickets to have a bunch of male strippers - The Beasts of Ambridge - perform in our upstairs function room.
Lilian: Hahahaha...hahahaha...
Jolene: It’s amazin ain’t it ? Kenton’s doin the sound system, Oi’m doin the MC and we’re gonna make a fortune on the bar, never moind our room charges.
Lilian: This is the funniest thing I’ve heard since Elizabeth Pargetter let Roy Tucker into her knickers. So tell me, who is organising all this ?
Jolene: Your mother !
(short silence)
Lilian: Pour me a very large one, Jolene.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. Thought she was going to bottle it there.)
Jolene: Oh there you are, Lilian. Oi’ve bin tryin to get ‘old of you. Did you not get my messages ?
Lilian: Sorry, darling, yes I did but I’ve had terrible trouble with one of my housing developments - a ferret infestation it seems - and I thought you could easily deal with a WI booking without me.
Jolene: Well, normally you’d be right but this ain’t the kind of meeting the WI usually ‘ave.
Lilian: Oh no, not another nude calendar with strategically- placed beer mats.
Jolene: Well, they might need beer mats but we’ll ‘ave to get bigger uns.
Lilian: Really ? What kind of chest size do these women have ?
Jolene: It’s not women and it’s not a calendar.
Lilian: Thank God for that but what is it then ?
Jolene: The WI have sold over 100 tickets to have a bunch of male strippers - The Beasts of Ambridge - perform in our upstairs function room.
Lilian: Hahahaha...hahahaha...
Jolene: It’s amazin ain’t it ? Kenton’s doin the sound system, Oi’m doin the MC and we’re gonna make a fortune on the bar, never moind our room charges.
Lilian: This is the funniest thing I’ve heard since Elizabeth Pargetter let Roy Tucker into her knickers. So tell me, who is organising all this ?
Jolene: Your mother !
(short silence)
Lilian: Pour me a very large one, Jolene.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. Thought she was going to bottle it there.)
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