Episode 98

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Emma:  Oi think your mum’s really lost it this time, Ed.

Ed. :  Wot’s she done now ?  Told me dad ‘is ferret-fancyin days are over ?

Emma:  Oi wish it were that simple.  ‘Ave you seen that buntin she made for the village ‘all centenary ?  She could ‘ave done some lovely stars to go wi them moons.  Oi mean oo wants ‘ammers ?

Ed:  You don’t understand Em,  she’s really celebratin the anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. But don’t worry, she’s always bin a bit off the wall.  She ‘as to be to put up wi me dad.

Emma:  So oo are these Bolsheviks ?  Do they live round ‘ere ?  There’s some new people in Penny ‘Assett.

Ed:  Don’t be daft.  Anyway, why are you so worried about some flags ?

Emma:  It’s not just that, she’s also standin for the Parish Council.

Ed:  That’s great !  Two Grundy women sortin out this village - Grandad would be proud.

Emma:  Yeah, well, it’s okay me tryin to run Ambridge.  Oi know wot Oi want.

Ed:  Are you sayin me mum don’t know wot she’s doin ?

Emma:  Not in my book.  Oi want wot’s best for us as a family, Ed, and to ‘elp folk like us.  Clarrie wants to ‘elp them that can’t ‘elp themselves.

Ed:  You mean like Jazzer ?

Emma:  Worse than Jazzer.  More like the rest of my ‘orrible ‘Orribin family.

Ed:  Don’t let your Mum ‘ear you say that.

Emma:  Justin Elliot is my inspiration - look ‘ow rich ‘e got screwin people over.  Oi want that for us.

Ed:  But me Mum’s always been a neo-anarcho-syndicalist.  Didn’t you know ?

Emma:  Oh my God !  We’ll never get an ‘ouse on that posh estate if Clarrie gets elected.

Ed:  But ‘oo’s gonna vote for Mum unless folk like the Aldridges are secret disciples of Karl Marx ? ‘E were a saint in our ‘ouse when Oi were growin up.

Emma:  But you went to Sunday School like everyone else.

Ed:  Welcome to the secret world of the Grundys...

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed:  From male strippers to political philosophy - beat that, Coronation Street.)





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