Episode 115

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Ruth:  Whyaye, David.  Where are ye gannin ?

David:  Sorry, what was that ?

Ruth:  Ah said, where are ye gannin ?  Dinna mek me say it again or Ah will be radgin.

David:  Ruth, you’ve lived in Ambridge for 30 years - why the Geordie slang all of a sudden ?

Ruth:  Ah’m proud o’ me roots, bonny lad, and ye’ll nay tell me otherwise.

David:  I don’t understand what’s happening to the women in my life.  You all seem to have lost the plot.

Ruth:  Howzat, hinny ?

David:  Well, my mother has turned into a, into a... I just can’t say it.

Ruth:  Auld slapper...

David:  I can’t say that about my mother.

Ruth:  Well, Ah can.  Us hasnae had a propa night’s sleep in months cause of ‘er.

David:  And poor Leonard just looks awful.  But now Elizabeth is leaving the country with her daughter’s boyfriend and Shula appears to be blackmailing the vicar.

Ruth:  Lets face it, Russ is much more suitable for Elizabeth and he is definitely a step up from Roy Tucker.

David:  That’s a bit harsh.  At least Roy doesn’t go round picking up girls straight from school.

Ruth:  That’s true - Elizabeth’s school days are well behind her.  But Shula has a nasty streak - look how she treated poor Alistair.

David:  Yes, but you have to admit that he is a bit dull.  You will be telling me next that you like Linda Snell.

Ruth:  Well at least she wasn’t chasin Jakob round The Bull like the rest of the WI mob, tho Ah’d like t’ see the pictures she took of Shula and the Bishops wife fightin over Jazzer.

David:  This just gets worse !  Doesn’t she usually enter the photography competition at the Flower and Produce Show ?  Can’t you have a word with Linda and sort it out ?

Ruth:  Aaaw  naaaw, David.  Haway man, Ah’m off fer me scran.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  I thought we’d stopped doing regional dialects - can’t afford the translation costs.)