Episode 119

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Alistair :  What are doing here, Jazzer ?  You’re usually in The Bull this time of night. Dad said you didn’t go out last night either.

Jazzer:  Och, Ah’m no in the mood.

Alistair:  Don’t tell me you’ve run out of loose women and free drink ?

Jazzer:  Ah’ve no run oot but Ah’m startin tae feel like yon Marilyn Monroe.

Alistair:  You’ll have to explain that one to me.

Jazzer:  Ah’m just a sex object !  Naebuddy loves me for massel !

Alistair:  I’m sure the pigs are very fond of you.

Jazzer:  That’s no funny.

Alistair:  I know but from where I stand I’m really rather jealous.  No woman in this village has any interest in me whatsoever.

Jazzer:  Aye, but I cannae recommend many of them - a’ the best yins are taken.  Ye widnae believe who’s jest sent me a postcard frae South America - the Bishop’s wife !

Alistair:  Is she the one who looks like Les Dawson in drag ?

Jazzer:  Aye.  She wants me tae go tae South America when her man comes hame.

Alistair: Well I guess you have to take the rough with the smooth when you’re a superstar stripper.

Jazzer:  BEEP that !  Those days are over.  Ah’m lookin fur a wumman wi class whose efter ma mind, no ma body.

Alistair:  Do you have anyone in mind ?

Alistair:  See that Elizabeth Pargetter ?  If she let that Roy Tucker intae her knickers, Ah should hae a chance.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed. That’s the second BEEP - don’t let this become a habit.)


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