Episode 121

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Harrison:  ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, what’s goin on ‘ere then?

Elizabeth:  That’s not very professional, Sergeant, I thought this was an official visit.  Has someone been pilfering in the gift shop ?

Harrison:  I hear you’re the one who can’t be serious and looks like it’s true.

Elizabeth:  I didn’t think you could use hearsay evidence - I’m sure I heard that on The Bill.

Harrison:  You watch The Bill ?  There was me thinking you were far too la di dah for that kind of programme.

Elizabeth:  What would you expect me to watch. Borchester CSI ? As if ...

Harrison:  Look, this isn’t getting us anywhere.  What happened up on the roof ?

Elizabeth:  Don’t I need a solicitor present if I’m going to incriminate myself - I mean tell the truth ?

Harrison:  Up to a point but I thought you were hard up.  These QCs charge a fortune - you ask Jennifer Aldridge.  Cost her a pretty penny to get off that sexual assault charge.

Elizabeth:  You’re right, I am short of cash, that’s why I was thinking of selling Lower Loxsley.

Harrison:  I thought you were selling so you could run off with Lily’s boyfriend - at least you’re nearer to him in age.

Elizabeth:  I didn’t know it was against the law to ‘run off’ , as you put it, with a younger man.  Men run off with younger women all the time.

Harrison:  What is against the law is pushing people off a roof.  Is that what happened ?

Elizabeth:  No, it was an accident - Russ tripped and fell.

Harrison: To lose one husband falling from the roof is unfortunate  but to lose two looks like carelessness.

Elizabeth:  Russ isn’t my husband and never will be, common little man.  But I didn’t know you were a fan of Oscar Wilde, he’s one of my favourites.

Harrison:  Don’t try and change the subject, Mrs Pargetter, you’ll be telling me about a handbag next ...

Elizabeth:  Look, come into the kitchen, Harrison, and I’ll put the kettle on.  I might have some of Mum’s cake, too.

Harrison:  Lemon drizzle ?

Elizabeth:  Of course.

Harrison:  In that case I’m sure we can sort all this out.

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Watch out, Harrison, she’s a man-eater.)


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