Episode 124

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Aziz:  Wow, a new paddock to graze in, bro, with lots of grass !

Amir:  Yeah, since the psycho vet disappeared, Shula’s lost interest in fighting our non-existent flab and we can enjoy some decent food.

Benjamin:  She’s even more obsessed with the vicar thing now and is pushing Alan to topple the bishop. She takes me out for a walk every day but it’s just a front so we can stop at the church and bully Alan.  Feel sorry for the chap - he was hiding in the graveyard this morning.

Amir:  Watch out boys, here comes Shula with Alistair, another of her victims. I wonder what she wants with him.

Alistair:  These three are looking very well, Shula.  You’ve obviously been following Jakob’s advice on equine obesity.

Shula:  It’s good to have your professional opinion, Alistair, but I didn’t ask you round to talk about the horses.  I want to talk about us.

Alistair:  Us ?  There is no us.  You made that very clear when you turfed me out of your life and humiliated me in front of the whole village.  You can’t have failed to notice that no woman in Ambridge has come near me since then, including the ones who’ve been drugged up on your mother’s cake.  They’re all forming a queue at Jazzer’s door.

Shula:  I’m sorry you feel like that, Alistair, and I honestly didn’t mean it to happen.  But I can make it all right if you accept my proposal.

Alistair:  What proposal ?

Shula:  Will you marry me ?

(loud thud as Alistair hits the ground)

(Aziz:  Dude didn’t see that one coming.)

(Benjamin:  I bet you two carrots he accepts.)

(Amir:  Why would he do that ?)

(Benjamin:  Would you like to live with Jim and Jazzer ?)

(Amir:  True enough but why has she asked him ?)

(Benjamin:  Alan says she has a better chance of being a vicar if she’s married.)

(Aziz:  That is so patriarchal - thank God we’re gelded !)

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum....

(Ed. That’s not a phrase you hear every day.)


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