Episode 130
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum....
(loud coughing)
Alistair: Are you all right, Jazzer, that’s a terrible cough.
Jazzer: Aye, Ah’m aw right. Just clearin ma tubes.
Alistair: You sound like a cow in labour.
Jazzer: Haud on. Ah’m a pig man an Ah dinnae ken oanythin aboot coos.
Alistair: Well you sound like a boar in pain.
Jazzer: That’s a bit harsh - Ah’ve never been cawed a bore in ma puff.
Alistair: I am talking about porcine boars, not bores like Tom.
Jazzer: Ah’ll no deny that. Tom’s a right pain in the arse.
Alistair: So why are you clearing your tubes as you so beautifully put it ?
Jazzer: Ah’ve telt ye afore - Ah’ve goat tae get a new career. Ah cannae keep takin aff ma claes and ma pig gig doesnae support ma lifestyle.
A.istair: What lifestyle is that ? You go down the pub, that’s it.
Jazzer: You’re a hard man, Alistair, but Ah huv ambition. The ladies at The Laurels loved me as a Beast of Ambridge but ken the polis wilnae let me dae that again so they’ve asked me roond tae sing.
Alistair: But you can’t sing.
Jazzer: They dinnae ken that. And they’ve promised me some extra bawbees if Ah throw in some extras.
Alistair: What kind of extras ? No, don’t tell me ! But it sounds like fun, can I come along ?
Jazzer: Too dangerous - it could scupper Shula’s chances o’ gettin the vicar’s joab.
Alistair: Sounds perfect, count me in.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. Alistair needs to get a life.)
(loud coughing)
Alistair: Are you all right, Jazzer, that’s a terrible cough.
Jazzer: Aye, Ah’m aw right. Just clearin ma tubes.
Alistair: You sound like a cow in labour.
Jazzer: Haud on. Ah’m a pig man an Ah dinnae ken oanythin aboot coos.
Alistair: Well you sound like a boar in pain.
Jazzer: That’s a bit harsh - Ah’ve never been cawed a bore in ma puff.
Alistair: I am talking about porcine boars, not bores like Tom.
Jazzer: Ah’ll no deny that. Tom’s a right pain in the arse.
Alistair: So why are you clearing your tubes as you so beautifully put it ?
Jazzer: Ah’ve telt ye afore - Ah’ve goat tae get a new career. Ah cannae keep takin aff ma claes and ma pig gig doesnae support ma lifestyle.
A.istair: What lifestyle is that ? You go down the pub, that’s it.
Jazzer: You’re a hard man, Alistair, but Ah huv ambition. The ladies at The Laurels loved me as a Beast of Ambridge but ken the polis wilnae let me dae that again so they’ve asked me roond tae sing.
Alistair: But you can’t sing.
Jazzer: They dinnae ken that. And they’ve promised me some extra bawbees if Ah throw in some extras.
Alistair: What kind of extras ? No, don’t tell me ! But it sounds like fun, can I come along ?
Jazzer: Too dangerous - it could scupper Shula’s chances o’ gettin the vicar’s joab.
Alistair: Sounds perfect, count me in.
🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...
(Ed. Alistair needs to get a life.)
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