Episode 136

 🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Jennifer:  You’re home very early from the shoot, Brian, I was expecting you to be away all day.

Brian:  Well, there was a bit of a to do.

Jennifer:  Whatever do you mean ?  These shoots are usually deadly dull with all those ghastly hedge fund types braying their way round the countryside.

Brian:  Different crowd today, darling.  We were doing a glorious-12th type of shoot to compete with the Scots who never stop going on about it.

Jennifer:  Yes, but they have the royal family blasting away at Balmoral so it is a bit more special.

Brian:  Ours was a mixed bag of the local great and the good.

Jennifer:  A very small group then...

Brian:  Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Jenny, you should leave that sort of thing to me.

Jennifer:  You still haven’t told me why you are home so early.  Did the Grundys not turn out for beating ?

Brian:  That’s unlikely - cash in hand and a free lunch?  Eddie will rise up from the dead for  that.  If you must know, the Bishop got shot.

Jennifer:  I didn’t know his wife had a gun.

Brian:  No, not his wife.

Jennifer:  Shula then ?

Brian:  Why on Earth would Shula shoot the Bishop ?

Jennifer:  Oh, keep up, Brian.  Shula wants Alan to be Bishop so she can be Vicar of Ambridge.  Unfortunately the Bishop has come back from South America so that plan was unravelling.

Brian:  And people say rural life is dull.  Well, it’s still unravelling as the Bishop is alive and kicking, it’s mostly his pride that’s hurt.

Jennifer:  Where was he injured ?

Brian:  I think Jazzer calls it the ‘bahookie’.

Jennifer:  Painful, who shot him?

Brian:  The Chief Constable.  But it’s all fine as he’s agreed to forget about the drug smuggling allegations against the Bishop who has agreed to forget about the shooting.

Jennifer:  Well, that’s a relief.  There are so many of these accidental shootings and it’s good to know that in Ambridge these things don’t have to end up in court.

Brian:  Not sure about that, darling, I thought I might sue them for emotional distress.

Jennifer:  But you don’t have any emotions.

Brian:  Don’t tell the court that, there might be a new Birkin bag in it for you !

Jennifer:  My lips are sealed.

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Poor old Bish - he’s going to need a good cushion on his pew.)