Episode 138

 🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Kate:  Gran, where are you ? You can’t hide from me, the house isn’t that big.

Peggy:  I’m not hiding, Kate, I was looking for Hilda.  She keeps disappearing from the drawing room.

Kate:  So that’s why you’re in the airing cupboard ?

Peggy:  Of course, dear.  Why would I hide from you ?

Kate:  I could think of many reasons but mainly one and it involves Jakob.

Peggy:  But I promised not to be a nuisance any more.  Don’t you believe me ?

Kate:  In a word, no, because you have been trying to get in touch again.

Peggy:  How do you know ?

Kate:  You seem to have misunderstood how the village Facebook page works.  You cannot send private messages to people.

Peggy:  Can’t I ?  Do you mean that everyone has seen my messages ?

Kate:  They certainly have.  All that stuff about ‘ Nobody can care for my pussy like you, Jakob.’

Peggy:  Oh dear.

Kate:  And ‘Anisha never understood my pussy like you, Jakob’. It’s awful, Gran, you’ve made me a laughing stock.

Peggy:  Surely, it’s me who’s been humiliated ?

Kate:  By rights you should but it’s Jakob’s replies about never having seen a pussy like yours which has put the icing on the cake !

Peggy:  Surely you mean the cherry ? But look, you’ve told me before that Jakob can’t tell a lie so it must be the truth.

Kate:  That is a problem but the fact that he has no idea how social media works is a disaster.  My reputation for being down with the kids is ruined.

Peggy:  Oh well, as long as it is all about you, Kate, I don’t feel so bad.

(Hilda: Whatever you girls decide, just keep that psycho vet and his freezing hands away from me.)

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed:  No wonder Anisha left if this is all the scriptwriters can come up with.)