Episode 140

 🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

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Lilian:  Oh, it’s lovely to get out for a ride in the fresh air.

Shula:  Yes, let’s go for a blast up Lakey Hill and leave all our worries behind.

(Aziz: God, these women are so unoriginal, bro, always the same chat when we go out. Why can’t they talk about the racing results ?  I still don’t know who won the 3.30 at Kempton.)

(Amir:  Benjamin tells me there’s been a shooting so they might be worth listening to for once.)

Shula:  We just need to go round by Ambridge Hall first.  Lynda is taking some of my leaflets for her guests.  I’ve been spending so much time on my religious ambitions that I’ve neglected the riding school.

Lilian:  And how are things going God-wise ?  I hear the Bishop got shot so there could be a vacancy ?

Shula:  Only a flesh wound, unfortunately.  I was hoping it would be enough to make him retire but he’s actually looking pretty pleased with himself.  Unfortunately for me the Chief Constable shot him so the Bishop blackmailed him to drop the drug-smuggling enquiry.

Lilian:  So what are you going to do now ?

Shula:  Have a word with God, see if he has any ideas.  Oh look, here’s Linda with the llamas.

(Amir :  Just what we need - a chat with the posh, the patronising and the pretentious all in one.)

(Constanza:  Good morning, gentlemen, what news on the Rialto ?

(Amir:  What did I tell you ?  She’s just full of it.)

(Aziz:  Too right, there’s lots of horses in Shakespeare but no llamas - no-one ever shouted ‘My kingdom for a llama !)

(Amir: Now be polite, we don’t want that spitting business to start.)

(Aziz: Gross !)

Lynda:  How lovely to see you both on your beautiful horses - can I give them a carrot ?

(Amir:  You certainly can, darling.)

Lynda:  Oh look, he’s trying to take it out of my hand, how sweet.

Shula:  Sorry, Lynda, but they’re working just now, no treats til they get home.

(Aziz:  Do you want me to throw her off now or wait until we’re up Lakey Hill ? )

(Amir:  Lakey Hill.  She’ll have a longer walk home.)

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Miss Firecracker won the 3.30.)