Episode 146

🎼. Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

Eddie:  Mornin, David, you’ve got a wasp problem ‘ave you ?

David:  Exactly right.  I’ve been stung eight times and the yard is full of them.  The nest is in the eaves by the kitchen window.

Eddie:  Well at least it’s on the ground floor.  Oi ain’t no good wi ‘eights.

David:  But are you any good with wasps ? I thought ferrets were your speciality ?

Eddie:  Well, Oi’m up fer anythin that might make me a few bob.  Times is ‘ard fer us Grundys.

David:  You sound just like Joe.

Eddie:  Well, me old dad knew a thing or two about ‘ow to keep the wolf from the door, that’s for sure.

David:  But what about getting rid of a wasps nest ? Can you handle that ?

Eddie:  Oi’ll give it me best shot.  But before Oi start, ‘ow will you be payin me ?

David:  Ah, well, us Archers aren’t doing too well ourselves at the moment.  We’ve had loads of extra expenses this year and what with Josh losing his business and lawyer’s fees...

Eddie:  Oi can almost ‘ear violins playin.  You Archers are minted and that’s a fact.  Clarrie is always sayin you’re a bunch of bloodsuckin capitalists.

David:  We might have some property but we’re cash poor.

Eddie:  You should try ‘avin no property and no cash then you’d know all about it.

David:  Look, I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.

Eddie:  A little bird told me that yer Mum ‘as started makin those lemon drizzle thingies again and that’s wot brung the wasps.

David:  And what’s that got to do with anything ?  She’s banned from baking as it just causes trouble.

Eddie:  Dunno about trouble but if  Mrs Archer could see ‘er way to makin me a couple dozen I could sell ‘em easy.  I wouldn’t do it down the market but Oi’ve got some customers Oi sell the special cider to and it would be all private like.  That would be a nice little earner for me and we’ll say no more about the bill.

David:  Deal !  Now, can you just exterminate the little buggers and we can all get back to work.

🎼  Dum ti dum ti dum ti dum...

(Ed.  Does this man have any scruples ?)